Friday, February 5, 2010

Dear Sleep,

Who needs you?

I obviously don't.

You're a jerk, you know that, right? The way you shamelessly flirt with me and then disappear without even telling me when you're coming back, it's despicable.

I hope you're happy being with all those other people every night and not me. You're missing out. You know the kinds of dreams I have.

Yeah, well... no more, punk! From now on it's just daydreaming for me. I have more control over those, anyway.

I don't need you. I don't need your drama. Why did I even put up with you for so long?

You know you'll never find a guy whose dreams are even half as entertaining as mine. But, whatever, do what you want. I couldn't care less.



  1. ... I'm sorry, sleep...

    I didn't mean any of that.

    Please come back.

    You ... you know how I am when I don't have you in a while.


    I love you.

  2. Perhaps I can talk to sleep for you, and help you two make up.

  3. If I were closer, I'd be more than happy to give you one of my famous massages to help you sleep. :)

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  5. Sarah might suggest that I just come talk about computers at you. That always puts her right out.

    (Of course, lately it doesn't take much to put Sarah to sleep... maybe you just need to get pregnant?)

  6. JGW: That would be fantastic! Could you do that for me? Sleep totally didn't show up at all last night...

    ABrooks: I could definitely use a massage.

    PG: hah, I often have realistic dreams, too... people are all, "Why didn't you do what you said you were going to do?" and I'm all, "What are you talking about, I totally did that!"

    Scott: ... maybe I will try getting pregos...