Dear Mr. Tchaikovsky,

I hope you aren't thinking, "What the hell are you doing to my Swan Lake?!"

Admittedly, we've made some additions to the story and had to cut the music quite a bit so we could fit it into about an hour production (we are dealing with beginning dancers [and audience members], after all).

But I'm hoping you'll agree that our version pretty much is going to be awesome and that you'll be pleased and not rolling over in your grave.

To be honest, if I may be like my mother, I could swear I could feel your homo hand from beyond the grave guiding me as I re-orchestrated, in a manner of speaking, the music.

... at least I hope that's what your hand was doing... (all in good fun Pyotr; all in good fun).

Yours Truly,
Andrew M. Pankratz