Saturday, October 18, 2008

Not For You / Jesus Freak

I just got back from a wedding reception. I'll be honest, it's tough to think that many of my family and friends do not believe I should partake of that happiness and joy that I witness there tonight. It's really tough.

But I am so happy for my friend who got married. She is an amazing girl, and to see her so happy and in love made me happy.

As I was getting her wedding present, I remembered that people have sex. It's weird, I know, but I had rather forgotten about the concept of sex lately. It kind of made me laugh -- I mean some of the accusations made against gay people leaving the counsels of the Church are, "You just want to fulfill carnal desires..." (I was told such by several people, family included).

Truth is, I simply want to build up a solid, strong, happy, loving family. I want to take hold of that which is most precious here in this life. Sex, I'm sure, is a nice little perk... but definitely not a goal.

And although it's painful to think that many people don't think that's for me, that God wants that for me, I am very calm in my heart in feeling otherwise. I feel guided by Him. I feel respected by Him. In fact, I have never felt Him near me so strongly as I do now.

Lately, whenever I worry about things pertaining to my future family, I simply get a soft, gentle, "calm down" hand on my shoulder and then an overwhelming feeling of hope, peace, and comfort.

I trust Him, and I trust myself to hear Him and be led by Him.

I know I'm sounding a lot like a "Jesus Freak" right now, but I do believe in God, Jesus Christ. I hope to emulate Him, His mercy, His kindness, but most of all His charity. I hope I can one day be an example of His goodness that many might believe in His name, which name is Love.

I kind of have a different definition of believing in and taking upon ourselves the name of Christ than most mainstream Christian organizations. That is, I believe if someone is modeling one's life out of compassion, mercy, tenderness, kindness, and charity, then one has taken upon oneself the name of Christ.

I believe Christ is less worried that people accept Him as God and more worried that people live according to who He is as God.

Some may argue that such could not be true according to Christ's teachings concerning covenants (such as baptism)... but that's a topic for another post.

For now, though, I need to get ready for bed; I have to wake up earlier than my usual Sunday wake-up as one of my friends just got back from a mission and is speaking in Sacrament meeting tomorrow morning.

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