I forgot to refill my sleeping meds yesterday... I did not sleep very well.
To be honest, I hate that I'm still dependent on them; I'm going to see if I can finally ween myself from needing them.
Anyway, last night was kind of rough; I kept waking up panicky and feeling like someone was in my room wanting to kill me.
It doesn't help that life has thrown me another stressful patch, what with having to cut my hours at work in half for a while to rest my eyes and see if I can exercise them into cooperation.
I'm a little panicky that I'm not going to be able to sustain myself financially -- though, I should be able to if I'm smart... which I haven't been in the past, financially speaking.
I'm a little panicky that I may not have a choice in my career, that it's already been decided by my eyes that I shouldn't be a [full-time] computer programmer.
I'm a little panicky that I may not be able to make it in the acting world.
I do think I've found a talent agency where I may apply. But, as I'm considering, all this doubt is flooding in: You're not good enough ... you're not attractive enough ... etc. ... etc. ... etc.
You know, the basic trepidations before jumping into a whole new world. Bah!
... I guess I'm going to just have to plug my nose and jump... I mean, do I really have a choice?