Sunday, March 21, 2010

Waiting Until Marriage (Reprise)

On Friday one of my older brothers visited and told me, "I know you can change if you just wanted it." As he 'bore his testimony,' I realized, remembering wanting to change more than I needed water, that my family is going to see what they want to see, no matter what I do.

What does this have to do with waiting until marriage?

Well... I have failed to admit (even to myself) the real reason why I felt like I should wait until I was married before I had sex.

I wanted to use my premarital chastity as bragging rights, to be able to use it as ammunition against my family and any other naysayers.

... I also felt that I had to prove my worth to them... and to God...

It was all based on feelings of fear and worthlessness.

So I took last night (and I mean the entire night) to analyze, evaluate, ponder, meditate, and pray.

In such, I realized that I had nothing to prove. My family will think whatever they think. God is guiding me, step by step, and will warn me when I'm stepping over the bounds of what I should be doing.

Thus, I realized that the most important thing I should do, not just with sex, is keep my personal connection with God strong and listen to His guidance.

In whole, this experience has brought me even more peace, comfort, and has removed yet another weighty burden from my shoulders.

Plain and simple is this plan which has never let me down.


  1. I'm still at the "appeasing the family" stage, but it's good to hear that you've come to that realization.

  2. Oh great, we have another unleashed beast on our hands, boys! Here he goesssss! ;-P

  3. Maybe it's just the romantic in my - but I hope you are still planning on saving yourself for marriage.

  4. I relate to the bit about ammunition. I never thought about it before, but when I read it, I realized that has been one of my big reasons.

  5. Hey Andrew.

    In my word: PRECISELY.

    It is my strongly held belief that God is more concerned on how we treat other people, how we correct inequality and justice, and how we relate to one another more so than how we interact with people in the privacy of our bedrooms (well, ideally in our bedrooms, lol). For me, making love to someone is a show of how much I care about them, albeit I do so in the confines of a relationship.

    Hope we can chat again. it's been some time. :)

  6. LDS Brother: This realization has been rather burden lifting for me.

    O-Mo: Very funny.

    Abe: That would be the ideal.

    boskers: I hadn't really thought of it before, myself, in the way I realized the other night.

    ABrooks: It has been some time.