Designing Women...

... is on at 4AM MST on TV Land.

You wanna know how I know? 'Cause I can't sleep.

Really. I cannot sleep.

My body has grown too accustomed to Triazolam. To be honest, it's tough not to feel bitter and angry, here at 4AM MST, unable to sleep.

I wouldn't be in this predicament if the LDS Church treated gays humanely. It was my following the counsels of the LDS Church that I started taking Triazolam--for three [insert favorite swear word in adjective form here] years... not healthy.

I'm tired. I'm grumpy. To be honest, I sort of feel like throwing a rock through a window of the LDS Church office building (which is but a hop, skip, and a jump from where I live). I know this is just because I'm tired and grumpy right now, and I would never throw... okay, so I've been known to throw rocks through windows--but not on purpose!

Many moons ago, I was outside playing, and I saw a sparrow perched on the roof of my house. I thought to myself, "I am going to throw a rock and hit that sparrow."

Yeah, yeah, I know: DON'T DO IT, YOU FOOL!!!

I mean, best case scenario in my mind: I kill a bird... which I wouldn't eat or use in any sort of "your death was not in vain" sort of way. I would have been so cool.

Anyway, fool that I was, I threw the rock. It was headed straight for the bird... right towards it, I promise... then it started to curve... it was a fantastic curve--which curve lead straight to the middle of the side-door window of my parents' minivan.

Long story short: it took a while for my parents to find me.


Mad About You comes on after Designing Women. When I was maybe 12, 13 years-old, I watched an episode of Mad About You. In this episode, the principle male character, Paul, was having his fertility tested... I was utterly confused. I had absolutely no idea how a guy could ejaculate outside of heterosexual, penis-in-vagina copulation.

Seriously, I had no clue.

This is my memory of Mad About You.

Anyway, I'm going to try once again to fall asleep... wish me luck (but not too loudly) !