Thursday, December 18, 2008

Hey Nonny Nonny

I wasn't going to say anything, but after one confessed outbreak of straightitis ... well, I think I need to make my own.

I honestly don't know what it is, but I have been feeling rather straight lately--and by straight, I don't mean I'd rather watch Basketball than a comédie musicale. I mean sex with a woman has crossed my mind... more than once.

Indeed, I have been finding myself seeing a beautiful young woman and thinking, "You know, I think I could hit that."

Quite honestly, I've been taken back by these recent impure heterosexual thoughts.

But, to be honest, they're more feelings of curiosity than anything else. It's mostly me wondering what it would be like to have sex with a woman: Would I be able to please her? Would I be able to enjoy it?

... and, in being honest, I have to admit that if sex weren't attached to love in my philosophy of life, I would probably go out and experiment...

Hah, I was just reminded of something I said to a friend in highschool--back when I completely believed I was straight. It was something like, "If I did fall into temptation, I wouldn't use protection... I'd want a kid out of it." (What I really meant was, "I have no desire to have sex with a woman... but to be a dad, absolutely!")

And that just reminded me of when I was in junior high (basically unaware that "gay" even existed). I was sitting on the kitchen table, talking with my mom and a few of my siblings about a story of an extremely young girl getting pregnant--by a boy her age. I was thoroughly perplexed and asked my mom, "Sex is just for making babies, so why would kids have sex?"

My mom blushed and said, "Well, it's not just for making babies... it feels good, too."

If the expression on my face matched what I was thinking (something akin to "there is no way that could be enjoyable"), my mom should've had a clue as to my orientation.

It was around that era that I learned what homosexual sex was. I was watching the Late Show with David Letterman with one of my brothers (no, my parents wouldn't let us watch it, we were watching w/o their knowledge). Anyway, something about gays came up and my brother said something like, "You know what they call gays, don't you? Shitdicks." And he explained why... if the expression on my face matched what I was thinking (something akin to "... men can have sex with men... hmm..."), my brother should've had a clue as to my orientation.

Of course, it wasn't anything like my thoughts when I found out men can fall in love with men. Those thoughts were something akin to, "What the hell!?! You LIED to me!!"

Anyway, I have digressed into talking about gay things... harumph... I wanted this post to be straight. damn


  1. It must be something in the water ... because I find my pendulum swinging the other way these last weeks...


  2. I don't know if it's in the water... I've been needing to do better in the hydration department.

    Maybe the air?

  3. The only woman I was ever able to imagine wanting to have sex with was Tina Turner. (She is, of course, conveniently unavailable.)

    I suppose it's natural to wonder occasionally. I've done that... I too have had the occasional stray lusty thought directed toward a member of the other sex. And, ironically, it's probably also true that, had I not had such a strict Mormon upbringing, it is possible at some point I might have tried to "experiment."

  4. Hey there.

    Andrew...having thoughts about women, aye? LOL.

    But seriously, I don't think they're cause for concern at all. One prominent fact I remember from my Human Sexuality class is that sexuality is hardly a 'one way' street. It is far more varied then that. I myself have had thoughts similar to yours. However, by and large I find that an emotional and physical connection with another man is far more desirable for me. So really that is really the question.

    I will say though, that based on what I know of you someday you will make someone very happy, be it a man or woman. :)

    BTW I have a reply to your e mail in the works...I'll probably have it sent tomorrow. :)



  5. She is, of course, conveniently unavailable.

    ... yeah, most--if not all--of my thoughts have been directed towards woman who are conveniently unavailable...

    I don't think they're cause for concern at all.

    Me, either.

    To be honest, though, life would be SO much easier if I could just fall in love with a girl. But I'm definitely over my wishing I were heterosexual (or even bi) and have taken upon myself more of a "que sera" mantra.

    I will definitely be happy with whatever happens.