How my mind works sometimes...

Me (while brushing my teeth): Ugh... my tummy hurts from eating too many chocolate chips.

...two seconds pass...

Me (spitting): What did I eat to make my spit brown?

... two minutes pass...

Me (flossing): ... idiot...

Dear Andrew,

You know that horribly messy room... yeah, the one downstairs?

You should go clean it.

*loves*
Andrew

Retirement?

Well, my posts have been few and far between lately. Starting up a nonprofit corporation which I hope will be super spectacular sure does take a lot of time & energy. It's been great, if not yet lucrative -- the first tuition due date isn't until the first of September. The student body numbers are looking really good, and we're quite optimistic for huge success.

Anyway, due to my lack of posting lately, I'm kind of wondering if people still read this blog and are still interested in little ol' Chedner and his escapades as an entrepreneur instead of little ol' Chedner and his escapades trying to reconcile his gaydom with the creeds of his religion.

Speaking of religion, I really don't know where I stand, religious-wise, anymore... I guess I'm not too concerned about my eternal destiny. I figure I'll live the best life I possibly can live, and if that's not good enough for God, be there one, then God's kind of an a-hole diva, and I'd rather not have to live with that for the rest of eternity.

I mean, really, if, come judgement day, you hear, "Yeah... you know what... you didn't wear the right kind of underwear to get into the top tier of heaven..." are you going to take that seriously? I wouldn't. I would laugh and say, "Yeah... which way to the farthest away from you?"

Don't get me wrong, it can be cool to belong to an exclusive club -- I mean, how else are you goinng to know you're better than everyone else? But it just doesn't seem very practical to me.

But, I digress. What I'm trying to get at is: Is this the retirement of Chedner, the blogger? It's not that I don't have anything to blog about -- there's always something to blog about, whether it be some philosophical pondering or some inane, yet whimsical, thought. I just wonder if I have an audience for my new self, the less angsty, mostly business Chedner.

I guess I'll see what happens.

In the meantime, I must retire... to bed.

ciao

Dreams DO Come True!

It has been a childhood dream of mine to be able to read every issue of the Uncanny X-Men.

That dream, my friends... [pause for tears of geek-joy]... is coming to fruition.

In other news: Ben & Jerry's Cream Cheese Brownies ice cream... pretty derned good. I am debating whether or not it's my favorite. Its competitor: Karmel Sutra. Mission to Marzipan could easily be my favorite if the non-marzipan parts weren't so so-so and if the marzipan veins ran more plentifully.

In other other, somewhat related to the original other news: I made some naan today; it was pretty good. I wish I had the stuff to make some curry to go with it, but the naan was good, naan-the-less (badum-ching).

Health Care & Charity

The following is from the blog post, Letter to a "friend" about health care, specifically from the email Dave's friend sent to Dave about Obama's proposed health care plan:

We also can be and often are a charitable people. Government should not have the right or power to make our choices or our charitable contributions for us.

Now, to be completely honest, I'm not a big fan of putting politics at the head of, well, anything. However, relying on people to freely act charitably isn't working. Truth be told, more often than not, people simply aren't charitable.

I'm speaking from personal experience (by "personal experience" I mean I need to see a doctor but can't afford it -- not that I, more often than not, simply am'nt [sic] charitable... I do try to be truly charitable in my every day practice).

In my last two posts, I mentioned a slight numbness on the right side of my body. Although it's let up a little bit on my upper body, my right foot is starting to feel more and more numb each day, and my concern has been affecting my already out-of-whack sleeping schedule (if you can call it a schedule). To compound the situation, as I'm getting more sleep deprived and exhausted, my depression, anxiety, and OCD are flaring up significantly.

To put it solemnly, I'm worried.

But I'm at the beginning of starting up my own business, so I have no insurance and no money. I am completely at the mercy of these fabled "charitable" people... meaning, I'm pretty much screwed.

I honestly don't have anyone to turn to. The people who would help me can't afford it... and the people who can afford it... well, from my experience, asking them for financial help comes with strings -- either in the form of a debt owed or stock in how I'm to live my life.

... I have more to say, but it's just going to end up as a me venting about... well, I'll keep even the specific topic of my frustration behind a held tongue...

I should be trying to get some sleep now, anyway.

You Take the Good, You Take the Bad...

Luckily, my car only had a loose hose, and it only cost me $24 to replace all the automatic transmission fluid that spewed out.

I still don't know why half of my body is kind of numb -- and, yes, I'm still numb... I'll give it two more weeks, and then I'll go see the doctor... not that any of you showed concern... jerks (I'm only joking).

In other news, the dance studio for my school is coming along nicely (thanks, O-Mo, for your help with the floor). Installing hardwood is a lot more time consuming than I was anticipating -- but then again, I am pacing myself quite generously so I don't get burned out.

I'm also swinging out of a short relapse of depression. I'm not 100% sure how I got there; although, it felt chemical/hormonal/biological/other-redundant-word. Maybe, like my car, something became disconnected and gunk spewed all over things upon which it was never intended to be spewed... maybe that's why I'm numb...

Anyway, that's pretty much been it for me -- spewing chemicals and dance floors.

Exciting, I know.

I guess I could comment on the recent hullabaloo that went down at the Main Street Plaza... but, lately, I'd sooner throw someone through a window than talk about this [insert preferred expletive in adjective form here] war.

I hope this isn't the start of a downpour

The entire right side of my body has been slightly numb since around 4 AM Wednesday. I've also been having rather odd mood swings since. This morning I woke up somewhat nauseous and spent a little more than three consecutive hours in the bathroom due to a seemingly angry GI tract. (I'm thinking it may be a migraine without pain or a vitamin B-12 deficiency ... those are the best options -- unless I had a stroke that I don't about -- I could find from the good ol' "trustworthy" Dr. Internet.)

Furthermore, last night, as I was driving home from my sister's house in Draper (this is the short story), my car finked out on me and is now sitting in a parking lot (hopefully it's still there; it could have been towed away by now) waiting for my brother to be able to go take a look at it tomorrow morning. (I'm thinking it has something to do with the transmission ... that's the best option my ignorant gay male mind that knows nothing about cars could consider.)

You know the saying, "When it rains it pours" ... I'm not saying that it's really pouring right now, 'cause, really, nothing really horrible is happening. Even if I end up without a car, I don't live too far away from my studio. I'm just saying that I hope this isn't the start of a downpour.