Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Should I ...

My oldest sister started a Facebook thread with my siblings living in Utah to suggest we get together this month for football, chili, and conversation.

I suggested we find a day that my unmarried sister's boyfriend can make it (we've yet to meet him), and my oldest sister said, "Everybody bring dates..."

Now, I'm not going to bring a date -- despite the fact that I don't have anyone I could ask, I don't want to cause waves.

But I am wondering if I should say something like, "For the sake of it being an enjoyable and non-confrontational get together, I'll refrain from bringing a date ;)."

However, I don't know if I should even mention anything at all. On one hand, it could open up the conversation to see how comfortable my siblings are with the idea of me dating guys or even acknowledging that I'm a homo; on the other hand, just saying something could cause waves... and I really just want peace right now.

I honestly have no idea how they would react... so, should I risk confrontation and say something or play it safe and just leave it be?


  1. I'd let it be in the group, particularly since you don't have anyone to bring anyway. It could easily be seen as you just rocking the boat for the sake of being an in-your-face homo, so if your priority is peace, I think it's clear you should let it be.

    If there's one sibling you're more comfortable discussing it with, maybe your oldest sister who said for everyone to bring a date, you could ask her directly whether she thinks you bringing a male date would upset anyone or send the light-hearted winky message privately, so it's less likely to be perceived as you just grabbing for attention or sympathy.

    ...might she have meant "date" to imply opposite sex by default according to her paradigm...?

  2. What Original-Mo said.

    You could even bring up the topic after the event is over - more of a 'what if' sort of discussion, to satisfy your curiosity. That way you don't risk having anybody accusing you of 'ruining everything' with your homo-ness.

    Or ... you could take Original-Mo as your date :)

  3. Oo, oo, could I wear heels and tight leather pants? OK, never mind.

    I just want it on the record that I did NOT pay Abelard to suggest that...at least, not in currency...

  4. Matchmaker, Matchmaker,
    Make me a match,
    Find me a find,
    catch me a catch

    Seriously - I, of course, don't know your family, but when your sister said "Everybody bring dates...", it sounds to me like an invitation for you to 'bring a friend'. It doesn't have to be somebody you are romantically involved with.

  5. Yeah, it was a very slim chance that I was actually going to say something.

    To be honest, I posted the question here just in case someone in my family reads my blog (which I don't think is the case, but if it is, maybe they could clue me into how the family feels about the issue right now).

    I've decided to not to mention anything to my family, to let them come to me when they're ready to talk -- which is tough... but, like I said, I just want peace right now.