Tuesday, September 23, 2008

My Mummsie's Prophecy

About a year ago, before I made the decision to 'come out,' my mom was talking to one of my sisters -- the one who isn't married -- about my sister's singledom [sic]. I was sitting with them, intermittently contributing to the conversation.

During the discussion, my mom said, "You know, I'm getting a strong feeling about the name [Stanislav] (not the real name)."

My eyes widened -- though I hopefully hid it.

[Stanislav] is the name of the guy I was totally crushing on at the time... okay, okay... still am.

Coincidences such as this have happened so many times with this guy that if we were to end up together (God granting), I could easily spin it as, indeed, a match made by God, Himself -- or perhaps God, Herself (God, Himself's wife).

Yes, I do believe our Heavenly Father is straight and eternally sealed to a woman. To be honest, I've always sort of felt a connection with Her -- which makes sense, I mean the gay sons are supposed to be buddy-buddy with their mom's, right?

In fact, I remember one day in Primary we were talking about... well, I forget exactly what we were talking about, but I made the comment, "... and Heavenly Mother!"

I was laughed at -- oh, the irony: I was laughed at then because of my belief in a Heavenly Mother; I am laughed at now because of their belief that a Heavenly Mother is required.


Anyway, moral of the story: my doctor's appointment is on Thursday... THURSDAY... and I don't know if I'm going to make it (meaning alive).
If I do end up giving up my ghost, there is one very important thing I want everyone to know:
Please... no dogs at my funeral (or near my grave at any time). We are sworn enemies, dogs and I, and I will carry my hatred to the grave.
FIN

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