Thursday, March 13, 2008

Avoir envie de vivre :: Heavy

Disclaimer: This is a 'Heavy' post, meaning it deals with the not-so-lighthearted facets of my life. I won't be posting 'Heavy' posts regularly as I would like to keep my blog mostly lighthearted; nevertheless, there are times when I'm naught but 'Heavy.'

I have been preparing to be a father practically my entire life. My greatest desire out of all desires I could possibly desire is to be a father. In elementary school, whenever I was asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I would often think, "A dad."

To me, life, a true life, is parenthood, life completely devoted to a spouse and children, teaching the latter to love Christ and His children, to always desire to make this world a more peaceful and beautiful place... and I wish more than anything to live. I would give anything to live -- and, indeed, I must pay a heavy price for such a life.

Now, I will most likely pay this price (as I truly would give anything), but I am having a difficult time -- to say the least -- saying goodbye to things that are precious to me, the things I must sacrifice for the greatest, most service-concentrated life I can live here and now.

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