Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dear 3 AM,

I know we've been great pals for the past few years. You've been there, without fail, whenever I've been at my lowests.

It's gotten to the point, however, that I must subconsciously think I need you, even when I'm not feeling depressed. Okay, okay, today was a rather low day for me and for no apparent reason, really. Clinical depression sure is a pain, n'est-ce pas ?

Aren't you getting tired of it, though? I mean, I know I am.

And... well, to be blunt, I'm afraid you're sort of enabling things here. Whenever my depression whispers that I'm a worthless failure at everything I do, you just sit there, ticking along... enjoying that I'm here with you?

Don't get me wrong, though. It's not like we've never had any fun together.

Perhaps I'm saying that it's time that we focus on the fun times, yeah?

Sure, this would mean less time together... but it would also mean that the time we do spend with each other would be healthier and much more enjoyable for the both of us.

Sleep is essential for me right now. Responsibility frequents my abode much more often these days than in the past... things just can't keep going as they are now.

I need my space from you for a little while. However, I do promise that we will have some fantastic times together in the future.

Much Love and Gratitude,
Andrew M. Pankratz

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