I am now officially employed by a company that can pay me a regular salary!
I’m both excited and terrified—for the same reason: it feels like life-life is beginning.
That is to say that I feel a stronger sense of responsibility for my future now. Before it was just, “Let’s make it to the next crappy day.”
Now, however, it feels like I finally have a future to start preparing for.
Before it was, “Meh, I have the money in my account, and it’s shiny; I’ll buy it!”
Now it’s, “Hmm… I don’t know, I should probably put that money away for something more important.”
It’s an interesting feeling, both thrilling and terrifying, both enhungering [sic] and nauseating.
It’s a new experience that I hope I’m ready to take on.