Thursday, September 17, 2009

Staring Down

I was walking, arm-in-arm, with my mother. We were going to church. I had a feeling like I shouldn't be going, but my mom wanted me to go, so I went with her.

As I sat down in the pew, I had to put my keys (I had a couple key-rings full) in my pocket. They jangled a little bit, and one of my older brothers shushed me.

me: Sorry, I had to put my keys in my pocket.

brother: I have keys, too, and they don't make any noise when I put them away.

me: Excuse me your majest... your holy majesty. I can' t put my keys away as quietly as you!

Then a friend of my little brother started to mimic me, but with a limp wrist. So I got all "So I'm gay, what's it to you!?" in his face... acting kind of like a gay hulk, all angry and bitchy and disrupting the entire service.

I hated how I was acting, so I just left; my mom followed me.

me: I'm sorry, Mom... I just -- I just can't go there anymore. It brings out the worst in me... please, don't expect that of me... please...

Then I was in the halls of a school. One of my old second graders was in the hall.

kid: Hey, I remember you! You're Mr. Pankratz!

me: [Kid]! How've you been?!

All of the sudden, the kid was underneath a lunch table, his lower body like shredded chicken, blood everywhere.

me: Wha ... ?!

some random girl: What happened?

me: I don't know.

As I looked at the girl, I could tell that she wanted to marry me, and I was wondering how I could make it work as I woke up.


  1. Holy crap! That's one messed up dream! Last night I dreamed I was standing in front of a friend's house when my friend Chris pulled up in a fancy car. He went into the house and for some reason I stood admiring the car. All of the sudden the car slowly started to move. Only then I noticed that this house was situated in an extremely steep, hilly neighborhood, and we were at the top! I watched in slow-mo as the car sped down the hill, me being unable to do anything about it. Then I heard a big boom at the bottom of the hill. Christ ran out of the house and as I was trying to explain to him what happened my dumb alarm clock woke me up.

    BTW, I found you just by blog-jumping. I'm not a stalker, I promise. :)

  2. You're a sick, twisted dude. But it's definitely an interesting dream...I woke up last night just in time to interrupt an encounter with a really hot athletic dude before things got interesting. You know, I've never been able to bring such a dream back, but I certainly keep trying...