Thursday, January 29, 2009

Checking the Oil

In the comments of JGW's post, Does Being in a Gay Relationship Make One Happy? Does Gay Love Qualify as Love?, Ty Mansfield mentioned his strong spiritual revelation of an eternal future with a female eternal companion.

JGW also expresses his strong spiritual revelations that his relationship with his husband will be eternal.

Some gay Mormons feel adamant, with the backing of spiritual confirmation, that they were heterosexual before the world was and will be heterosexual (at the very least for one of the opposite sex) after this world.

Some gay Mormons feel adamant, with the backing of spiritual confirmation, that they were homosexual before the world was and will be homosexual after this world.

So... which one is it (if it is either)?

Yes, that is a rhetorical question. I do have my answer -- which is found within the Doctrine & Covenants:
All truth is independent in that asphere in which God has placed it, to bact for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence.

I believe they are all right. The truth about who I will be as a perfected being is dependent upon my nature. My independent nature.

I who am naturally talented in the Performing Arts. I who am naturally talented in the Computer Sciences.

I who am naturally prone to impatience and impulsiveness.

I who am naturally attracted to men. I who am naturally a man, myself.

My truth is dependent upon all that.

My joy is dependent upon all that.

To me, joy is a state of confidence, happiness, and well-being (even during trying and difficult times) brought to pass through the development and progression of one's truth, one's nature.

Take Ballroom, for example. I have a natural talent for Ballroom. I've never had major problems holding a proper frame (save with Samba Rolls), proper technique comes quickly to me, etc.

That's not to say it isn't difficult. That's not to say I'm perfect or anywhere near. I have a lot of work to do. A lot of my talent is still quite raw and needs much refinement.

That's also not to say that it's always pleasant. I had a partner that made it quite unpleasant. My big toenails almost fell of a couple weeks ago.

But even during the challenging and painful times, even when I dance with partners I don't like (definitely not the case with my current partner), I am in a state of overwhelming confidence, happiness, and well-being when I am dancing Ballroom.

But it's not Ballroom that brings joy. It's my developing and augmenting this natural talent of mine that spawns the joy.

I apply the same concept to everything -- including sexuality.

I fully believe JGW's eternal happiness will be found within his relationship with his husband, because that's what he has testified in regards to his personal revelations, to his truth.

I fully believe Ty's eternal happiness will be found in a heterosexual relationship, because that's what he has testified in regards to his personal revelations, to his truth.

Again, truth is independent.

Just as much as it would be ludicrous for me to expect anyone else to find joy in Ballroom, it is ludicrous -- in my opinion -- for one to expect another to find joy in those things that bring joy to that one.

Now, I understand the sentiment, "This is bringing me such a great joy, come partake!"

I would love for all my nieces and nephews to take Ballroom.

More deeply, though, I want my nieces and nephews to experience the sense of confidence, happiness, and well-being I get from Ballroom.

This is, I believe, the core of where Mormons and other like religious sects stand on homosexuality. My parents, for example, want me to be happy. Their marriage and family is the greatest source of happiness in their lives -- and that's what they want for me.

Unfortunately, they ignore this concept of independent truth.

From my personal spiritual experiences, I sincerely believe that I was homosexual before this world was, that I will be homosexual when this world will be no more, and that my joy in regards to eternal companionship is dependent upon this part of my "sphere of creation."

In fact, as I read Scott & Sarah's recent posts on Patriarchal Blessings (PB), I am reminded of my own PB. I believe I was 12 when I received my PB. There are some things that seemed so mysterious to me (including the portion that mentioned something about my life in the pre-existance). Mysterious until I began to accept my homosexuality, then things started to really click.

There were even things that didn't start "coming to pass" until I decided to find a husband. In fact, I remember thinking the wording concerning my eternal companion and those with whom I would be reunited after this life was odd... until I decided to find a husband.

Concerning joy, when I was trying to live according to the Church's guidelines, expecting heterosexuality (either in this life or the next), I was... well, I was miserable.

But when I stepped out of those guidelines, I started to feel an overwhelming sense of confidence, happiness, and well-being... even during the trying and sad times.

Of course and again, I am not foolish enough to expect that such a route will bring happiness to anyone but myself.

For example, I highly doubt Ty would find true joy through this same route.

He is not I and I am not He. Since truth is independent, my truth is not his nor is his truth mine.

I wish we could all remember this.

I wish we could all trust each other to know ourselves and act appropriately to seek joy, to seek to develop our independent natures, our independent truths.

I wish we could also all remember that joy cannot be brought back as misery nor misery as joy (Alma 41:12-13). Inasmuch as something that brings misery cannot be justified for joy in the end, something that brings joy cannot be justified for misery in the end.

Such is my response to those that would say, "I want you to be happy -- not just now happy, but forever happy."

If it is something that truly makes me "now happy," then it is something that can only be restored to something that makes me "forever happy." Again, by "happy," I mean "joy" or a state of confidence, happiness, and well-being (even during trying and difficult times) brought to pass through the development and progression of one's truth, one's nature.

If it is something that does good, then it is something that can only be restored to goodness. So, in regards to gay marriage, how is providing good homes for the world's orphans -- something very good -- going to be restored to something evil? How is creating a companionship for those who are not intended to be alone -- something very good -- going to be restored to something evil?

Granted, it could be said, "How could something defined as evil -- gay sex -- be restored to something good?"

This is definitely a valid question, but I must ask: What is evilness?

In my mind, if our purpose is to have joy (2 Nephi 2:25), then righteousness is that which brings to pass joy. If evilness is the opposite of righteousness, then evilness is that which brings to pass the opposite of joy. If the opposite of joy is misery, then evilness is that which brings to pass misery.

Now, if joy is developing one's nature, then misery is degrading one's nature.

For one who is naturally heterosexual, homosexual sex will bring misery... because it degrades one's natural heterosexuality. For a heterosexual, homosexual sex is evil.

For one who is naturally homosexual (true, some do not believe this is possible), homosexual sex s a component of developing one's nature; therefore, it is a means of joy, and, therefore, not evil and can only be restored to goodness.

(And, let's be honest here, the main audience of the Bible and other such scriptures is the heterosexual white male.

(And, let's be further honest here, the General Authorities are just that, General Authorities. Generally, people are heterosexual.

(Don't get me wrong though, I didn't start with such "they're speaking for the general population." I started with, "Wait, this isn't bringing misery to some people... what's the deal?" and then I came to the general conclusion.)


Granted, such a conclusion is dependent upon whether or not one can truly be homosexual in nature, and I cannot say that I know such. All I know is that I strongly believe such is true about me, I have seen great joy in homosexual couples, and I have seen a great good being brought to pass through homosexual couples adopting children.

The only thing that would suggest homosexuality is evil despite all of this are the words of general authorities... and when everything else contradicts words, I tend to trust that everything else instead of the words.

5 comments:

  1. You have articulated what I feel but am not able to explain in words.

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  2. Andrew:

    There's a handful of verses in the Scriptures that I have puzzled over for years and never been quite able to figure out. This is one of them. And I thank you for giving me some new insight that I had never thought of before.

    I woke up this morning between 3:30 and 4 am and, unable to go back to sleep for some reason, did a quick blog check. I found your post and was so intrigued that I couldn't let it go. I immediately began looking up other references to Doc. & Cov. 93:30.

    Most of what I found talked about "intelligences" being independent, but very few people had ventured to try to explain what was meant by "truth" being independent in its own sphere.

    I was delighted to find that one probably authoritative source whom I deeply respect, Neal Maxwell, had actually discussed this briefly in a 1992 BYU Devotional talk called "The Inexhaustible Gospel, and even more delighted to find that his perspective was similar to yours! Here's the quote:

    "it is clear from the verses of scripture that some truths may turn out to have a place in a yet-to-be-revealed hierarchy of truth that the world doesn't understand. The scriptures tantalize us by saying, 'All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it' (D&C 93:30). One even wonders if truths, like planets, belong to a particular order (see Abraham 3:9). But we do not now know."

    Your post has intrigued me so much that I'm going to keep digging, because as I said, this verse has always puzzled me and I don't like to be puzzled that way. For the moment, though, very satisfying to learn that somebody as smart and inspired as Neal Maxwell seems to look at this verse the way you have!

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  3. Oi, I'm not looking to get dueling personal and supernatural revaluations. It's a mobius strip as far as I can tell and, looking at J's post, I think I get the drift. In years past I've gone in circles trying to find even a common language on this topic but it typically just ends up being frustrating for everyone involved. At least I get to part knowing the other is wrong when they use false characterizations of our subjective feelings as proof off their hypothesis :-).

    I'm glad, though, someone with that language is getting into it.

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  4. I can't help but think of prostate exams every time I read "Checking the Oil". I'm gross.

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  5. You've sort of put your finger on an interesting phenomenon here among LDS. Namely, the tendency to -- against their own theology -- deny that for gay people other world happiness corresponds to or has anything to do with this world happiness.

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