So the question really becomes "how likely is it that my local leaders will come to the conclusion that I will make a good missionary?".I think this is precisely the question.
Well, almost precisely. It goes deeper than local leaders. See, I have been in personal contact with a General Authority over the past three years. I told him of my desire to serve a mission, and he expressed doubt.
To be honest, I thought he would be on my side.
Unfortunately, none of my leaders believe in me. I doubt they will ever believe I'd make a good missionary.
... and you know what happens when you don't believe in fairies...
(Please don't take this as me being cynical; I'm just being honest.)
The only way I could get them to believe that I would make a good missionary would be to deny that I am attracted to men -- or say that my attractions are waning (i.e. give them evidence that homosexuality goes away).
That is, the only way I could get them to believe that I would make a good missionary would be to lie.
And then I wouldn't feel like I would make a good missionary.
To be completely honest, I fear I am defeated on the issue.