Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Infiltrated

My blog was infiltrated last night.

Things were said that are not my position.

For example: The saxophone most often makes me want to peel off my skin and roll around in lemon juice.

Major Turn-off.

Other turn-offs include:
  • Smoking (I've already mentioned this)
  • Illegal/recreational drug use
  • Sincere vanity
  • Piercings (Gauges x 838)
  • Really big muscles
  • Women (heh, perhaps obviously)
  • Being unkind
  • Using unwilling people and/or people who have not given their explicit consent for a laugh
    • (i.e. being inappropriate in a public place with a "If they're bothered, it's their problem" kind of attitude)
  • Trying to force me to do something
  • Attitude of "If I like it; everyone should like it"
  • Needing money/things to be happy
  • Not wanting children
  • Needing constant affirmation
  • Thinking that, in a gay relationship, one person is the "man" and the other is the "woman"
  • Needing to be hyper-social

Turn-ons include:
  • Smiling and saying, "Thank You" to store greeters
  • Random acts of service
  • All acts of service
  • Sense of humor compatible with mine
  • Being good with kids
  • Geekiness or Nerdiness
  • Profound eyes
  • Intelligence
  • Dark hair
  • Confidence with humility
  • Studying what one loves, not what will be the "best for business"
  • Meekness*
  • Blushing
  • Tactful bluntness
  • Supportive-ness
  • Talent (esp. with the piano)
  • Innocence
  • Small... packages...
  • Romance
  • Passion
  • Enjoying dance
  • Matching with me in that inexplicable way

*As I understand things, humility is sincerely understanding and knowing your strengths, weaknesses, talents, etc. and not esteeming yourself higher or lower than anyone else. Meekness is being teachable. While the latter requires humility, they are not really the same thing... at least not in my book.

5 comments:

  1. Chedner, barring 2 or 3 of the last 5, why are you not, then, insanely and incurably attracted to me? I just don't get it...life's great mysteries, I guess.

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  3. I like the idea of a turn-offs post, but I hesitate to give away my turn-ons. The intrigue and mystery just wouldn't be the same.

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  4. O-Mo: Probably because of all the begging. I forgot to put that on the turn-off list ;).

    PG: No wonder why I'm not sexy; I should listen to saxophone while I lemon bath after I skin myself.

    And you's welcome; thanks for the maid service. Next time, I'll have juice boxes, too.

    El Genio: I actually only put one or two "turn-on" turn-ons. The rest are things that I just admire in a person, whether he be a romantic interest or not. I did so for the very reason of keeping the mystery and intrigue.

    After all, a good magician knows how to get the audience to look one way while he makes the magic the other way.

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