(I would very much appreciate any input, suggested revisions, etc. before I send this out to my family.)
I sincerely hope you all know how much I love, respect, and admire each of you. I do appreciate your concern for me and my choices in regards to being gay.
Many, if not all, of you I'm sure are worried that I am heading down the wrong path. I wish I could take that burden from you. All I can really do is try to assure you that my decisions are not made with my genitals and hormones but with a sincere desire to do what is right for me, not just for this life but also for the next.
Years were spent in earnest and sincere prayer, meditation, fasting, scripture study, et al. as I sought to know what I should do. I was, am, and will always be genuinely willing to do whatever I feel inspired to do, no matter what it may be. I trust my relationship with God.
I no longer struggle with anything 'being gay'-wise. I am dating guys. I no longer have virgin lips... and [I]n my sincere seeking to understand God's will for me, I have felt absolutely nothing but encouragement and a sense that God is pleased with me and the direction my life is heading.
While it has troubled me that you struggle with my decisions, most likely not trusting the sincerity of my intentions, words, or testimonies, I have decided that I have done all I can to help you with your burden concerning me.
Now the struggle is yours. I will continue to do everything I can to help you through this struggle... though, like I said, all I can do is be completely open and honest with you. Again, it's up to you now. I will not try to force any dialogue. I will not try to force any decision.
I will respect any decision you make, even if it means that you won't be at my wedding (if I end up finding Mr. Future Hubs), if I can't attend family gatherings because my boyfriend or husband wouldn't be invited, etc. Yes, it will be painful for me. I'm sure tears will be shed on my behalf, but I understand that respect is a 'two-way street,' so to speak. I can't expect you to respect my wishes of being treated as any other sibling regardless of whom I love, date, and marry if I don't respect your desire to keep me at a distance because you cannot support my decisions.
That being said, I do hope that those I date will be treated the same as those anyone else has dated or is dating. I do hope that the person I end up marrying will be treated and seen the same as any other in-law. If it doesn't end up happening, then I'll deal with that pain the best I can.
Again, I love you all dearly. I hope and pray for the very best for each of you and your families.