Waiting Until Marriage (Reprise)

On Friday one of my older brothers visited and told me, "I know you can change if you just wanted it." As he 'bore his testimony,' I realized, remembering wanting to change more than I needed water, that my family is going to see what they want to see, no matter what I do.

What does this have to do with waiting until marriage?

Well... I have failed to admit (even to myself) the real reason why I felt like I should wait until I was married before I had sex.

I wanted to use my premarital chastity as bragging rights, to be able to use it as ammunition against my family and any other naysayers.

... I also felt that I had to prove my worth to them... and to God...

It was all based on feelings of fear and worthlessness.

So I took last night (and I mean the entire night) to analyze, evaluate, ponder, meditate, and pray.

In such, I realized that I had nothing to prove. My family will think whatever they think. God is guiding me, step by step, and will warn me when I'm stepping over the bounds of what I should be doing.

Thus, I realized that the most important thing I should do, not just with sex, is keep my personal connection with God strong and listen to His guidance.

In whole, this experience has brought me even more peace, comfort, and has removed yet another weighty burden from my shoulders.

Plain and simple is this plan which has never let me down.