Warning: This post may cause you to visualize me in my underwear... not that you haven't already*
I had a few hours to kill today, so I decided to walk aimlessly around a few stores. In my not-even-window-shopping, I noticed the wall of Underoos in Target.
Reminded of the nickname (referring to the title of this post) my sister, Teena, had haphazardly given me a few years ago, I perused the selection.
"Oooh, Spider-Man Boxer Briefs."
(reading package of largest size) "...hmm... I weigh more than twice that much, and my waist is almost 6 inches larger..."
About $6 and 20 minutes later, I'm in my sister's bathroom squeezing into my first pair of Underoos in perhaps 20 years... realizing as I look into the mirror that I had finally bought a pair of underwear that may just let me keep my gay card.
Novelty: Off the Charts
In related news: I have, for the first time in my life, been thankful for my small derrière.
*I jest ; calme-toi !