Sunday, March 29, 2009

Second Draft

[maybe I should keep it curt and blunt?]

Dear Bishop,

I apologize for how long it's taken me to get back to you. I've taken a lot of time to prayerfully consider my request to serve a mission. After meeting with you and hearing your trepidation in endorsing me as a missionary because I'm gay (even though I've never even held hands with a guy), because I support gay marriage, and because I plan on taking care of my physical health in the least caustic way possible, I have decided that I do not feel safe putting myself under the complete care of those who are not completely concerned for my personal well-being. Such, I feel, would be irresponsible of me, and I know I would not be successful; therefore, I withdraw my request.

Although I would like to nevertheless return to church, I also feel it would be irresponsible for me to do so at this time as I feel the relationship between the Church and its gay members is emotionally abusive. I had forgotten the degree until I spoke with you earlier this year.

Now, I'm not resigning from the Church; however, I am requesting that the Church not contact me as I take more time to re-evaluate what is best for me, my health (emotional, physical, spiritual, et al), my happiness, and my productivity in life.

Sincerely,

Andrew M. Pankratz

4 comments:

  1. Perfect-- Clear, direct, and to the point. And short. (straight Mormon leaders have such short attention spans).

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  2. Be careful that he doesn't take the "emotionally abusive" bit as a personal attack. Consider re-wording that slightly. You don't want to risk giving gratuitous offense. You can be blunt and direct without attacking the person.

    Beyond that, what Daniel said. His judgment is obviously not clouded by the colored powder.

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  3. I like the shorter version. (I'm all for short and clear.)

    You might want to consider adjusting the tone to make the letter slightly more matter-of-fact and less emotionally charged. For example,

    I apologize for how long it's taken me to get back to you. I've taken a lot of time to prayerfully consider my request to serve a mission. I'd like to withdraw my request.

    I want to return to church, but my recent interviews with you have left me feeling that the Church is not a safe place for gay people, even celibate ones like me. I don't want to resign my membership, but I do request that the Church not contact me as I take more time to re-evaluate what is best for me, my health (emotional, physical, spiritual, et al), my happiness, and my productivity in life.


    I hope you can get through this with a minimum of anger. I can relate; I've certainly been there.

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  4. Thanks.

    I'm glad I have some people to edit. I really don't want to send out a biting letter filled with my frustration and anger.

    It's not so easy -- which is why I prefer writing... I can take my time. Face-to-face, I run the risk of being... well, I can actually be cruel sometimes when I'm confronted.

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