Life isn't easy. You have to buy her dinner first... and then she screws you.
~Andrew M. Pankratz
No, things are not bad for me right now. I was just reading over a few quote from Einstein, and I thought, "If ever my name is found in a book of quotes, I would like it to be for [the above]."
A few contenders:
Don't touch the green ones.
Having five fingers on one hand isn't vital to salvation. Toes, on the other hand... well, who would want toes on one's hand?
I am not schizophrenic or paranoid, so please tell the gremlins to stop telling everyone I am.
Clouds are God's way of covering up his privates. His lieutenants usually stay out of the sky.
A rose is a rose is a rose
Okay, so I totally stole the last one.
But it was done out of admiration for Gertrude Stein and her style of writing.