Saturday, October 18, 2008

What's Best For Our Children

After hearing that the California Teachers Association (CTA) is against Proposition 8, my belief that gay couples make excellent and exemplary parents has been fortified.

Having been a teacher myself -- I taught as a full-time substitute teacher as well as a 2nd Grade teacher -- I know that if anyone sees the true nature of parents and the effectiveness of their parenting, it's teachers and those involved with the education of children.

I also know that the most memorable students are those who excel brilliantly (in any way, academics, behavior, etc.) or those who struggle greatly (in any way, academics, behavior, etc.).

If gay couples raised memorable students of the latter kind, CTA would be supporting Proposition 8 and would be wanting to keep children out of the homes of gay couples.

However, seeing as CTA -- the largest association of educators in California -- is against Proposition 8, I am lead to believe that children raised by gay couples are generally memorable for excelling brilliantly.

And if any teaching within the classroom is going to happen, it's to protect these students from learning in a hostile environment where their families are seen as evil entities to be shunned, swept under the rug, ignored, demeaned, dehumanized, etc.

More and more I look forward to the day when I will be a father. To be honest, I did once hold that fear and belief that heterosexuals are the ideal parents... but then I opened my eyes and simply looked for myself -- not just at families headed by gay couples, but within myself -- and I saw that which is true, the amazing, incredible, exemplary, and simply good value of homosexual couples as parents.


  1. Academic excellence is not the only (or even most important) indicator of successful child-rearing. One of the most important things parents can impart to their children is a strong identity, a part of which is an understanding of their gender and its unique role in who they are. Men and women are different, not interchangeable. Our children need fathers and mothers. They need the best qualities of both men and women. I do not doubt that you would make a wonderful father. But I wonder who will mother your child.

  2. Men and women are different, not interchangeable. Our children need fathers and mothers. They need the best qualities of both men and women.

    What are these qualities? I don't believe that there's a single quality that men or women possess exclusively.

    The stereotypical father is strong--the disciplinarian in the household. He is the breadwinner. He teaches his kids to play ball, but he leaves a lot of the child rearing and homemaking to his wife.

    The stereotypical mother is nurturing. She cooks and cleans and is home when the kids need her. She tends to their cuts and scrapes and holds them when they cry.

    I've never taught my boys much about sports. I do most of the cooking in the home. I work at home most of the time, and have been self employed a large portion of my married life, so I've been at least as present around the house as my wife has. I've been anything but a stereotypical father, and my wife doesn't fit the mold of a stereotypical mother.

    I don't think that either of us has specific "qualities" that are gender-specific and that are necessary in the rearing of our children. I don't think that our children are suffering from our non-conformity.

    The "Leave it to Beaver" family is a relic of a different age, and I don't believe that's a bad thing. Love and a genuine interest in a child's well-being and development are far more important qualities in a parent than what's between their legs.

  3. carolyn: Thank you for your comment!

    Academia excellence is also not the only thing (or even the greatest thing) a teacher observes in the classroom -- which is what I meant with "(in any way, academics, behavior, etc.)." A child's self-identity is, indeed, the most vital thing a successful and effective teacher will notice and help develop.

    I have a much more detailed response to the rest of your comment; however, I think, for now, I would like to ask you to do something (not publicly, but privately):

    When you have some free time, I ask that you would sit in a quiet place with the scriptures by your side and a prayer in your heart and seek out to answer the question, "How have Jesus Christ's example and teachings helped me develop my identity as a daughter of God?"

    Again, I'm not asking you to post your answer here or anywhere... it's just something I would like you to think about.

    I do not doubt that you would make a wonderful father.

    Thank you!

    But I wonder who will mother your child.

    Don't worry; my mothering skills are equal to my fathering skills. So, if I will indeed make a wonderful father, I will equally make a wonderful mother.