Truth

24 And truth is knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come;

25 And whatsoever is more or less than this is the spirit of that wicked one who was a liar from the beginning.

...

30 All truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence.

31 Behold, here is the agency of man, and here is the condemnation of man; because that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them, and they receive not the light.

~D&C 93:24-25, 30-31

I cannot claim to know the complete truth about myself as I do not know who I was before I came to Earth (I have a strong belief, but I do not know), nor do I know who I will be (again, I have strong beliefs, but I do not know).

The only thing I can know is who I am. Such is the only portion of truth I can rightfully claim. It is the only portion of truth anyone can rightfully claim. Everything else is hope and faith -- belief.

Pertaining to this portion of truth I claim, knowing who I am, such is independent within my sphere of creation -- which is somewhat circular to say, I know (i.e. "The truth of who I am is dependent on who I am"), but then it's somewhat not (i.e. "The truth of who I am is independent of who anyone else is.")

Or, as I once wrote:

My path is mine, so need I mimic the bitter tenet: I am; therefore, you will be the ‘I’ I am, for I am he who is the ‘you’ you are to be for I am you and you are I. As each is you and each is I; therefore, as I am, you will be too – not two, for one is you and I, for I am you and you are I. Should I be, then should you. My north is still as yours is still as yours is mine and mine is yours, for I am you... and you are I.

I am often told that I am not who I am because of who I will be. And I must ask, "Why would you have me ignore the only portion of truth to which I am privy in order to take hold of a belief that claims I am not who I am?"

That is to say, the belief I am so desperately wanted to take upon myself claims that I cannot be as motherly as I am. But I am as motherly as I am, and I continue to grow in being motherly -- as equally as I continue to grow in being fatherly.

The belief I am so desperately wanted to take upon myself claims that I cannot love whom I love. But I do love whom I love, and I continue to grow in loving whom I love.

The belief I am so desperately wanted to take upon myself would have me refute the truth of who I am.

I do not understand this notion. I understand faith. I understand hope. I understand belief. Such things are necessary... but only when there can no truth be claimed.

It is to me backwards to try to refute the truth (which is quite impossible, to refute truth) of who I am based on a belief of who I will be. It is like telling a strongly mathematically-inclined child, "You are destined to become a ballet dancer [your parents are both ballet dancers]."

The future of this child cannot be proven one way or another; it will be revealed one day, when that child has grown... however, it is most viable and accurate to base the belief of this child's future on the child's strongly mathematical mind.

It is especially futile to base beliefs of that child's truth on the truth of the child's parents -- as "[a]ll truth is independent in that sphere in which God has placed it, to act for itself, as all intelligence also; otherwise there is no existence." (i.e. Truth is not universal, but independent within each individual*.)

So why am I being asked to deny the truth of who I am (I am referring specifically to my ability to act as both a motherly and fatherly figure and to my greatest spousal compatibility being a male -- and not to my sexual attractions to males) based on not just a belief of who I will be, but a belief that falsely identifies who I am as I am now?

Is it truly I who am denying God's light as I cling to what I can claim as truth? Is it truly they who are shining with God's light as they deny the truth about who I am?

I have always thought Light = Truth = God.

I have always, indeed, believed that light and truth are plainly manifested... and that which is plainly manifested to me (in regards to my homosexuality) is that I am capable of both mothering and fathering; I fall in love with men, not women; the best spousal match for me is a male.

Why should I take upon myself a belief that would not only befuddle that which is plain and simple but -- more importantly -- would also damn something that would bring a lot of goodness to not just my life but also to the lives of my future spouse, children, and those who are influenced positively by all the above?

I cannot see who this proposed belief can be true... it simply cannot be... 1) It denies who I am now -- again, referring mostly to my motherly traits and to whom I truly love; 2) It is not individually independent but completely dependent on who others are; 3) It ignores that which is plainly manifested**.

*If truth is a knowledge of something as it is, was, and will be, then the truth about one thing will never be the same as the truth about another thing -- in this regard, truth is not universal. However, the truth about one thing is the same here as it is there as it is anywhere -- in this regard, truth is universal.

For example, the truth about who God is is universal; however, God's truth is not my truth -- simply because I am not God.

** The word, manifest, has a visual implication, not an audible implication. Ergo, "that which was from the beginning is plainly manifest unto them" to me does not imply anything about testimonies and words of prophets but testimonies of what is (and can be seen without the help of any third party).