I spent most of my day yesterday lounging in my bed, watching an America's Next Top Model marathon.
I should have been working on the websites I'm coding, but my sinus pain has been rather dehabilitating ... my laziness isn't the point of this post, though.
In one episode, the challenge was an interview -- where the models were instructed to try to spin difficult questions into a positive tone. This got me thinking: if I one day become well-known in some way and was asked, say by The Advocate, something like, "Is your family supportive of your being gay?" then how would I respond?
(Yeah, I know, I have rather fanciful... and somewhat specifically detailed... fantasies.)
How would I try to sound positive when my family is, perhaps for lack of a better phrase, ashamed of who I am becoming in respect to my homosexuality? How could I sound positive on a subject that is the current greatest source of my anxiety, fear, and grief?
Then I thought, "Well, why did I choose 'coming out' over making my family proud?" Therein I found my answer.
When I came-out, I made a decision to trust the inclinations of my heart -- not just the inclination to love men, but the inclination that falling in love with a man (and acting upon that love) is not abhorrent to God.
Basically, I decided to trust love (how corny, I know), and that's what I need to do with my family. I need to trust in the love they have for me. I need to trust that such their love will see the truth and soften their hearts toward me and my choices.
And I think I'm beginning to trust.
(Speaking of The Advocate, they just interviewed my very first celebrity crush -- I've never really had one up until just a couple weeks ago. I mean, sure, there have been celebrities that I've thought, "Gee, he's good-lookin'" ~cough~James Roday~cough~ but none that I've ever truly thought, "Gee, I would like to date him" ... until now.)