Molly Cule

I can't wait for my next paycheck... I will [hopefully] be subscribing to my X-Men comic books again!

There's actually a store that sells comic books on my way to the apartments of a couple of people I support; I should stop by there next week to get started on catching up.

I just realized that I've yet to really mention anything about my new job. I work for a company that supports people who have disabilities (such as autism, traumatic brain injury, etc.). The department with which I am involved supports those who are mostly able to live on their own but who need support in areas ranging from finding social activities to managing finances to maintaining a healthy environment, etc.

When I started, my official title was "Direct Support Professional" but I recently got a promotion and am now one of the assistants to the team leader. I will be focusing mostly on the financial aspects of support for the supported living department as well as directly supporting a few individuals.

It's been a very interesting experience so far -- interesting in a good way. I've learned a lot about myself, about life, about charity, about disabilities, about needs, about wants, about desires, about hopes, about dreams... the list could go on.

I've also been torn out of my comfort zones in some senses. For example, I do not like animals -- especially dogs... I hate how animals smell, how they don't have any respect for my personal boundry... the list could go on. And, of course, the very first person I started supporting has a dog.

And this is only the beginning. I also have an inexplicably heavy discomfort learning new skills in a public place... and one of the people I support will be teaching me to swim. I also have inhibitions about wearing shorts in public, let alone not wearing a shirt... I honestly don't know why this is... but I will be breaking down this inhibition, and I'm actually really looking forward to it.

However, my biggest inhibition is going to be tested as well: the locker room. I will be taking one person to the gym twice a week, and I'm not going to be able to avoid the locker room as I've always tried to do in the past. Granted, my past reason for avoiding the locker room was to avoid being confronted with the physicality of my homosexual attractions -- seeing as naked men are found in the locker room. That is, I avoided the locker room to help me stay in as much denial about being gay as I possibly could. Now that I'm out, though, I have no reason to push a state of denial... so hopefully it won't be too difficult to hurdle over this inhibition as well. (What's really sweet is that my employer will be paying for my gym membership -- not to mention that I will be getting paid to work out and on my goal of getting up to my ideal weight.)

In whole, this new job of mine has been extremely beneficial for me as it challenges my irrational psychological quirks. I even peed in a urinal the other day -- seriously, this is a big deal for me... especially since I wasn't the only one in the restroom...

I'm finally growing! (Even physically... well, not length-wise, but weight-wise; I just weighed in today, and not only have I regained the five pounds I recently lost but I've also added a whole pound!! I know a whole pound doesn't seem too significant to most, but it's a huge deal for me, and I will hopefully have gained at least another pound by next weekend (two would be great).)