Simple :: Heavy

I have decided to try to simplify -- and perhaps 'debitterfy' -- my letter of resignation from the Church as follows:

***

Dear Bishop,

It is with a heavy heart and careful deliberation that I write this letter to resign from my position as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I am fully aware of the implications and consequences of resigning; such understanding is why I am asking formally to be removed from the records of the Church.

These past few days I have been praying and desiring to know whether or not I should give, yet again, the Church's guidelines another sincere effort; in my meditation, I foresaw my suicide. Thrice I've tried with all the energies and sincerities of my soul to bear the yoke the Church would have be bear, and thrice I've been plowed under, each time more deeply, each time more scarring.

This yoke has crippled me to the point where I have been unable to hold a steady job. This yoke has crippled me to the point where I have been unable to complete a full semester of college. And when I look at the yoke proposed by advocates of gay marriage, I see quite the opposite, an incomparable abundance of joy and meaning, and the opening of exemplary families to children who, more than anything else, need such. I see a yoke that is not only bearable but also highly concentrated in service and good works.

I can put it no more honestly than, "I cannot live... I am simply unable to live the lifestyle expected of me by the Church, but I can live a life that is currently not condoned by the Church -- which life I have seen to be good -- if the Church's doctrines cannot change, then I must ask to be released from its membership."

Indeed, effective immediately, as it is believed within the Church that the doctrines which promote an unlivable lifestyle for me cannot and should not be changed, I withdraw my consent from being considered a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Accordingly, please remove my name from the records of the Church, and please do not make any attempts to contact me except for the appropriate notification that my name has, indeed, been removed from the Church's records.

Sincerely,

Andrew Martin Pankratz

***

I will be turning in my resignation this weekend. Nobody has any solid evidence that my decision is not a decision to take upon myself a better life -- especially, specifically, and solely based on the doctrines which are currently and visibly producing the greatest goodliest of works.