... so unbelievably painful knowing that my happiness, the best life I can live isn't good enough for 99.99324222% of the people who are the most important to me, that my life makes them uncomfortable.
I don't know if I have the energy for this anymore.
Press on. It gets better.
ReplyDeleteYour family will very likely come around, but it's going to take time. If you can, just take things day by day and keep your hope alive.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
I was talking to someone earlier about how I've never felt dependent on other people's opinions in making my own life decisions, including those closest to me, but as decisions to walk away from their expectations and my own past beliefs has become very real and present, and I've faced rejection from the very people in whom I've become emotionally/romantically invested because they went back to their old belief systems, I've been surprised how profoundly that resolve has been tested and what I've questioned.
ReplyDeleteBut...hopefully it really does get better. Whatever path you end up following, find the energy...and share some with me. :-)
It does get better. Anyway, I'd say it's only something like 99.98726999%.
ReplyDeletekeep lovin...keep livin...you are loved as an artist, a friend, a confidant and most of all as a dream in the making.
ReplyDeleteAndrew...I wish I could hug and hold you right now.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that your family is so uncomfortable. Indeed, I am saddened that I cannot fully empathize, because my family responded so well to me. Know that you are in my prayers and that my heart hurts with yours.
"Almighty and everlasting Father, you are a stronghold and pillar of trust to all who place their faith in You: Keep Andrew in Your stead, O Lord. Heal his mind, heal his body, heal his spirit with Your loving grace. Above all, keep him firm in the hope that You have set for all of us. May I remember him also as I abstain and fast this day. Amen."
The peace of God be always with you. Stay strong...and know that we are always here for you, even if I cannot be there in person *BIG hugs*
Love,
Andrew
Oh my friend, how I understand. The hardest part about being gay for me is being so unlike the people around me. I hate being the cause of discomfort. Why couldn't I just be "normal" and fit in? Others have written encouraging thoughts. All I can really say is I feel ya brother.
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