... and I think hanging out with my family was more difficult for me than I'm willing to admit, even to myself. I mean my 'nap' from 2:00 PM Saturday to 4:00 PM Sunday was more than just me being overworked, methinks.
I think I'm more bitter and angry and frustrated about feeling like I have to hide a part of myself from those with whom I'm the closest than I'm willing to admit to myself.
I think it hurts more than I'm willing to admit to myself to hear the jovial and excited, "When are we going to meet Teena's boyfriend? We're so excited for Preston and Hannah's engagement!" comments, thinking how they would feel quite the opposite about any such thing for me.
Instead of confronting these feelings, I'm just shutting down, lying to myself, pretending I'm not hurt. It's most likely not the most healthy thing to be doing.
It's probably a good thing I don't have a boyfriend right now; not being able to have invited him probably would have made things more difficult for me to ignore.
... speaking of lying to myself and boys, I was probably thinking how nice it would have been to have been offended that I couldn't have invited a certain someone to the baptism more than I am willing to admit to myself...