I was walking, arm-in-arm, with my mother. We were going to church. I had a feeling like I shouldn't be going, but my mom wanted me to go, so I went with her.
As I sat down in the pew, I had to put my keys (I had a couple key-rings full) in my pocket. They jangled a little bit, and one of my older brothers shushed me.
me: Sorry, I had to put my keys in my pocket.
brother: I have keys, too, and they don't make any noise when I put them away.
me: Excuse me your majest... your holy majesty. I can' t put my keys away as quietly as you!
Then a friend of my little brother started to mimic me, but with a limp wrist. So I got all "So I'm gay, what's it to you!?" in his face... acting kind of like a gay hulk, all angry and bitchy and disrupting the entire service.
I hated how I was acting, so I just left; my mom followed me.
me: I'm sorry, Mom... I just -- I just can't go there anymore. It brings out the worst in me... please, don't expect that of me... please...
Then I was in the halls of a school. One of my old second graders was in the hall.
kid: Hey, I remember you! You're Mr. Pankratz!
me: [Kid]! How've you been?!
All of the sudden, the kid was underneath a lunch table, his lower body like shredded chicken, blood everywhere.
me: Wha ... ?!
some random girl: What happened?
me: I don't know.
As I looked at the girl, I could tell that she wanted to marry me, and I was wondering how I could make it work as I woke up.