I am debt free!!!
Well, I owe my parents for a bailout or two during my shop-therapy days a couple of years ago... but as for those debts that are found on one's credit report: $0 for me!
And this time there was NO bailout from anyone. Some family did help me from getting into more debt, for which I am absolutely grateful, but nobody bailed me out of the debt I was in -- just me putting my shoulder to the wheel and pushing along.
So, let's recap:
I am now down to 1/4 to 1/2 of a dose of Ambien to be able to fall asleep. I'm making significant progress weaning myself off of the double to triple doses of Halcion on which my body became dependent from more than three years of use.
I no longer need antidepressants. During the past decade, I was put on almost every antidepressant out there -- not at the same time, of course -- almost all to their maximum dosages.
I have $0 in non-familial debt, and my last debt payments were not made with family money. During the past decade, I would rack up debt after debt and would need my parents to bail me out.
On Saturday, it will be the one-year anniversary of my last suicidal thought. It was truly the closest I've ever been to killing myself because the fear of how much it would hurt to shove a dagger into my heart was not there... it was complete numbness.
I strongly believe the same thing that broke said numbness is what broke my dependency on drugs and debt:
My personal permission to follow my own heart and conscience.