I Don't Need Anymore Friends

One of my recent experiences summed up in an analogy:

(Recess. Jimmy is talking to Me as I swing.)

Jimmy: Come play soccer with me.

Me: No, I don't want to play soccer, I want to swing.

Jimmy: Come on, you'll have a lot of fun!

Me: I don't want to play soccer -- I want to swing.

Jimmy: You really want to play soccer, I just know it.

Me: That's stupid, you don't know what I really want... actually, you should, 'cause I told you: I want to swing.

Jimmy: Why are you being mean to me, I just want to be your friend. Why won't you be my friend?

Me: I just don't want to play soccer with you. We tried it last week, and you kept telling me I had to shoot the ball with my right foot, but I shoot the ball with my left foot.

Jimmy: You're supposed to shoot the ball with your right foot!

Me: Yeah... I'm going to swing.

Jimmy: You pretend you're so friendly, but here you are, turning down my friendship. I'm going to tell Teacher, and you're going to get in trouble. Besides, only girls swing, so you must be a girl. And, for the record, I was just trying to help you play soccer better, so forgive me for trying to be a good friend and encouraging you to be better.

Me: ... whatever...

Jimmy: You're such a hypocrite. I'm telling Teacher when we get back.

FIN