"[M]y wife is about as gay friendly as a straight woman could be... But she has her limits. [She's grossed out by gay sex.]"
The Gay Sex 'Ewww' Factor, TwoLives
Someone who is gay friendly sincerely understands and accepts that two people of the same gender actually and truly can share the same bonds as two people of the opposite gender. Gay friendly people cannot be disgusted by homosexual sex any more than they can be disgusted by heterosexual sex.
Why would homosexual sex be more disgusting than heterosexual sex? I mean, think about the things generally involved in sex: the penis, the vagina, the anus, the mouth. I wouldn't want any one of those things, say, touching my food. Hell, I don't even want someone else's hand (also used in sex) touching my food!
So, really, any kind of sex is icky... if we take out the concepts of pleasure, connection, love, and reproduction. If we consider, however, the benefits, implications, and inferences of sex, then we have a completely different picture.
As an allegory, think about sitting down to eat with a friend. Your friend says, "This [insert your favorite food, mine would be Thai curry] is delicious! Try it." If you try it (and you probably would, I would assume) you will have swapped saliva in the process (even if you used different utensils). EWWW!
The sharing of the food isn't gross, but the exchange of saliva is gross (would you have poured even 1/4 of a teaspoon of just your friends saliva into you mouth?). The saliva swap, however, is secondary to the sharing of food, making the entire idea of sharing the food, well, not-so-EWWW.
It's the same with sex. Touching those body parts, swapping those body fluids... EWWW! That is, it would be disgusting if it were the primary concept of sex -- which it isn't. The primary concepts of sex are connecting, pleasuring, loving, and reproducing, making the entire idea of sex, well, not-so-EWWW.
Being grossed out by sex insinuates that such sex is merely playing with another person's (or other people's) gross parts without connection, without pleasure, without love, and/or without reproducing.
Being grossed out by gay sex (specifically more than you're grossed out by straight sex) is not gay friendly. In fact, it's quite the opposite. It's implying that gay sex lacks something that straight sex has (yes, I know it lacks the reproductive qualities, but think about it, nobody is going to say, "EWW! straight non-reproductive sex" when the grossed out one* is okay with reproductive sex).
*I thought I'd try it out in real life, Jay... and I like it... a lot. **
**This is what happens when you make private members public.***
***Aka poor encapsulation****